Eleventh Commandment - Thou Shall Not Cosplay

Time To Get Back To My Original Thought

My apologies for taking so long to get back to another post, the end of the week went very well and didn't have time to publish this post.  No....don't ask why I would give up on my duties as a (hopefully) future writer.  I won't get into the details.  No....stop asking why ass.....onto the blog.


I actually came up with the idea for this article after reading a few Twitter feeds from HijinksEnsue and the wonderful Mr. Wil Wheaton.  Pictures of protestors outside the San Diego Comic Con (SDCC for short) have passed by my desk before; however, this time I would like to write about it.

I'm a Man of My Word......Now With the Assclowns

 

Now, before I start down this road, I would like to point out that I DO NOT have an issue with the protest itself.  All Americans, and yes, I mean ALL of them, have a right to voice their opinion when they see fit.  If I wanted to stand in front of the local Wal-Mart and protest the selling of Tapout Shirts to overgrown and over baked douchebags, that is my American right.  If I wanted to protest a Skrillex Concert for crimes against music, I could do that too.

What point am I trying to make?  The point I am trying to get across is that the examples I just gave you are utterly ridiculous (well, except for Skrillex, his music makes me want to vomit fecal matter).  Furthermore, the protests being conducted in front of SDCC are just as ridiculous.  I haven't actually viewed any of the protests in front of SDCC, however, all the conventions I have attended (Gencon, Megacon, Dragoncon) never had any protestors in the general vicinity. 

 

I Achieve Orgasm by Rubbing My Dick Against My iPad



Why do I find these protests ridiculous???  Let me explain.  From what I have read across the interwebs, the main reason that numerous individuals are protesting the largest comic convention in the United States is because they believe attendees are worshiping "false idols."  Yep, you heard correctly, they have a sticks in their asses because they believe watching geeky television and reading graphic novels is the worship of "false idols."  Groups of people getting together to reenact their favorite video games or movies is seen as sinful and must be stopped right away!

Super Mario Bros.  Still A Better Story Than Twilight



Normally, I would just shake my head and say they are just wasting their time.  However, as I started to think, many of the characters that are found in comics/movies/anime resemble some the of the characters from the Bible.  Thinking back to my Sunday school days, I distinctly remember being taught about several individuals who (supposedly) did miraculous things in the name of God and Faith.  Can you think of any?  Here, let me give you a few examples:

1) Lazarus of Bethany - That pimp was the first zombie
2) Moses - Parting the Sea and whooping some ass, that sounds like a nomination for the X-Men
3) Samson - Super strong and beat the shit out of an army with the jaw of a donkey, he should team up with the Avengers

Xavier Will Have to Let Me in Now!!!!



I could give many more examples but I think you are getting the point that I am trying to make.  Reading comics/graphic novels is the same as reading the Bible.  Yes, the bible serves as a "tome" for faiths all around the world, but admiring these "supposed" people in history is the same as reading about your favorite hero/villain.  Furthermore, and if I remember correctly, churches and classes in church wanted you to look up to these Biblical Characters as life lessons.

I could continue to write and write about this particular subject; especially when it comes to the hypocrisy of the church, however, I have more important things that I would like to write about.

Ooooooooooooo, Justin Bieber is in Town!



I leave you with this, stop worrying about other people and start worrying about yourself.  It does you no good to judge a person for what they like or the life they have chosen.  Instead, focus on you and you alone.  By doing this, you might see the world in a different light.

 

 

Let's All Scream Bullshit!





 

 

Is That A Shit!!!!

Interesting Morning

I was going to have this post talk about the protestors at the San Diego Comic Con; however, I decided to share the morning that I had today.

Don't Worry Ass Clowns........I Will Get To You Next.





Sooooo.....the morning actually started out pretty normal.  I got up early and did my morning routine; I usually like to have an extra 10-15 minutes just in case I decide to "rub one out."  After finishing up with everything, I had about an hour before I needed to head to my office and decided to take Apollo to the dog park. 

My dog Apollo is a Sharpie/Lab/Pit Mix; basically, he is a 65 pound baby that thinks he is still a lap dog.  I try to get him out as much as possible because he is extremely hyper and doesn't like to be cooped up in the house.  Plus, if I don't take him out, he will vent his frustrations on the house garbage can; which ends in me being deputized as a US HAZMAT Team Member.

Because Fuck You........That's Why



Getting back to the story, I got all my stuff ready for the trip/work and left the house shortly after.  First, I walked Apollo around the yard so he could do his business before we headed to he Dog Park.  After a few minutes of him sniffing the neighborhood cuisine, I got him into the back of my Dodge Journey and started the drive.  This is where it all goes downhill........

The dog park is a ten minute drive from my place and only requires me getting onto one road.  When it comes to car rides, Apollo is the best.  He will lay down on his dog blanket that I have in the back and won't sit up until we get to our destination.  About 2 minutes into the trip, Apollo sits up and starts to whine while he looks out the window.  The first thought that came to mind was that he probably smelled a piece of ass that had been lingering in the air.

My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Park



Nope......Hell No.......Bullshit Wrong........and I was about to find out how wrong I was.

I was watching Apollo from my rearview mirror and started to wonder what was troubling him.  Apollo whined for about 30 more seconds, looked at me, and proceeded to unleash a VOLCANIC SHIT all over my backseat.  I'm not talking about a normal shit that resembles a fucked up Jenga tower.  This shit came out of his ass with the power of a thermonuclear warhead; if there had been another dog around, that motherfucker would have stood up on his hind legs to salute Apollo.

                          Why Does This Shit (Literally) Happen To Me?                                             I Salue Thee, Major Shit!!

Needless to say, I had some wonderful things to say while all this was going on:

APOLLO!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT!!!!
WHERE DID THAT BONE COME FROM!!!
MY EYES ARE WATERING, I CAN'T SEE THE ROAD!!
I CAN TASTE IT, IT'S IN MY MOUTH AND I CAN TASTE IT!!!!    



The Blitzkrieg Bombing of my backseat lasted for about 15 seconds and ended with him farting for another 30.  I was hoping that Apollo would stay still until I could turn around and head back; however, that was too much to ask.  That hyper ass decided that he wanted to celebrate this momentous achievement by swimming around his ass blast for about 10 seconds and jumping to the front seat afterwards.  This, of course, caused me to swerve around and probably caused a 90 year old woman to pee for the first time in a week.

Ultimately, I stopped over at my daughter's GG's/Grandfather's house to grab some fabric/carpet cleaner to decontaminate my backseat.

Lesson Today:  Take a little extra time when you walk your dog......and don't assume that he was just concerned with a hint of tail.



A Good Cup of Shit Goes A Long Way

Media, Manipulation, and Outrage.........Oh My!!!!

Wooooooooo!!!!!!  Time for my second post on..............

Let's All Scream Bullshit!

This article, if you want to call it that, will focus on a topic that I have wanted to write about for some time.  There has been a lot of attention on this particular topic over the past week and I really wanted to get my thoughts across.

Now.......you might be asking, "Derik, what topic are you speaking about?"  Most likely, you already know what this post is leading up to if you finished reading my last post and/or follow the US media very closely.  However, if you have been living under a rock for the past six months, allow me to enlighten you a bit. 

What is he about to talk about??!!



On July 12, 2013, citizens across the Unites Stated were surprised/angered when George Zimmerman was Acquitted of all charges in the death of Trayon Martin.  Many people have stated (over and over and over and over again) that this was a national tragedy that created a racial rift between the American people.  Furthermore, numerous people have also stated (again...over and over and over) that this showed a flaw in the American Judicial System and that something should be changed about it. 



When Tragedy Happens, the Celebrities Come Out to Play........Unless they See Their Shadow







Let's stop right here and reflect on everything we have seen in the media over the past few weeks.  We had numerous experts make appearances on television and talk about the "Stand Your Ground" Law that exists in the sunny state of Florida.  We've had a plethora of legal experts (I use the term expert loosely) go on the internet, television, radio, and blogs stating that this was going to be a hard case for the prosecution to win, simply, because they did not have enough evidence.  However, they stated that the Jury would still charge Zimmerman because he, as part of a better term, showed the character of guilty.  Do you remember all those news reports?  Do you remember Diane Sawyer going on national television, telling everybody, that George Zimmerman was guilty beyond a reasonable doubt?  Do you remember other reporters stating that this was a national tragedy and everybody should show support for the Martin family.

Blah, Blah, Blah...........I haven't gotten laid in 20 years



Now, I'm going to get this out right now.  This article is not going to be discussing whether or not George Zimmerman was at fault or if Trayvon Martin was at fault, so if that is what you are looking for you can save the ten minutes and stop reading.  I would also like to point out that I AM NOT TAKING A SIDE, I am using this particular case to show the particular Mass Media Outrage we have grown accustomed to over the past 50 years.

Yes, I could use another case (Casey Anthony comes to mind), but I prefer to use this one because it is fresh in all of your minds.

As I was saying, over the past few weeks/months, the media has been uploading all the information of the Zimmerman trail into our brains via the unbreakable link, television.  Some might say that the media was giving us just facts so we could form our own opinions on the matter.  I scream BullShit on that one right there.  The media did not give us all the facts and only told us what we wanted to hear.  On some networks, they wanted you to hear that George Zimmerman was a monster and deserved to be thrown in jail.  Other networks wanted you to think that Trayvon was a "gangster thug" who was on drugs and ready to do the evil (yes assholes, I wrote it like that on purpose.....sarcasm people, sarcasm).  Basically, this trail was election year all over again, except we didn't hear about "who slept with who," "this guy supposedly served in a war," and "this guys hates babies and kittens."

The fact of the matter is, we have to ask the question, do we really know what happened?  Do we?  Yes, we can piece together and form opinions with the information we have.  We can take all the information we have and tell ourselves, "this is what I believe." 

Unfortunately, this is not what is happening.  Americans are sucking on the nasty teet of the mass media, licking it all up like it's the strongest supplement for the mind.  Due to the media and other organizations, George Zimmerman was found guilty even before his trial.

Mmmmmmmmm, Suck on the Teet of Misinformation

 

 

I will end on this note, we need to separate ourselves from the media and learn to form our own opinions.  Am I upset about the acquittal of George Zimmerman.  No....because he was judged by a jury of his peers; those peers formed opinions based on the information that was given to them.

 

I was planning on discussing POTUS' remarks on the trail, but decided I will save that for another time.

 

Whew*  I dodged a bullet there......must be my sparkling personality

 

- Derik
LET'S ALL SCREAM BULLSHIT!!!!

The Beginning

Greetings Fellow Assholes!!!!

I finally got off my ass and started the blog that I have been thinking about for the past few months.  This journey out of procrastination/laziness was mostly inspired by a dear friend of mine (at this time will remain nameless, Chin Rub) and the sudden urge to share my thoughts/rants/events with a small group of people. 

A former hobby of mine was to post my current views on FB, Twitter, and other social media sites.  However, several individuals have decided to remove me from their lives due to my views. Soooooo, I will use this site to express my views on EVERYTHING and hope that some of my friends/family will just choose to ignore it.

 

Awwwww, Did That Hurt?





OK, let's get things stared!!! 

What will I talk about?  I'm glad you asked......

Oh Shit!!!!  Here It Comes!!!!!

 

This Blog will serve as a journal, a map of sorts, of the current events going on in my life and my views on daily events.  I am hoping to post 2-3 times a week; however, with my current schedule consisting of work, school, being a dad, and pissing people off.....that might be pushing it.  These posts, stories, opinions could be part of some daily event, something that happened in my life, or something that just popped into my brain.

Now, my first blog is not here to just "explain" my aspirations for this tool of bitching and complaining.  I will give you a taste of what I plan to write.  This list will serve as a small glimmer of what to expect in the future (or when I get bored and decide to do something else.....SQUIRREL!!)

1) Me, Myself, and I:  Part of this blog will be dedicated to the man of the hour; Mr. Awesome, DRock, D, Asshole, Shithead.........in short, me.  Yes, I know, that sounds kind of lame.  What type of writer would sit there and write about himself; that's like M. Night Shyamalan level shittiness.  However, my hope is to have readers take the lessons from my life events and do something great with their lives.



 

I Make Sucking Ass Look Good Bitches



In Truth, I'm kind of at rock bottom right now.  And several key events/decisions have led to this unfortunate state of my life.  I won't go into full details right now, but, over the next few months, I hope to share several key mistakes in hopes that you will avoid them.  Now, does this part of the blog reflect my title and introduction.  Yes and No.  I WILL BE critical on myself and share the changes that I have made.......and along the way, bitch about the other things.

2) Religion: Let's get something straight RIGHT NOW.  I respect other people's beliefs and values, I respect that people/society has a higher faith than others.  However, the whole notion of Religion and the organizations that run it just pisses me off.  I could have an entire blog dedicated to this, but decided that I can just add my rants and jabs to this blog every once in a while.

Friends/Family that decide to read this.....I warn you NOW, I will be highly critical of religion and religious organizations.  So if this turns you off from reading my blog, so be it.  I'm not here to sugar coat anything.

3) Media: Media.......more like manipulating the uneducated and simple minded.  Unfortunately, our society has grown into a bunch of pussies who can't think for themselves.  9/10, when a person turns on the news, they will believe whatever they are told.  This has led to the current decline of our country and why we have certain people in political office.

Just a warning.....my next blog post will be on the George Zimmerman Trial and how the Media manipulated facts to lead the general public to outrage.

March, You Fucking Lemmings, March!!!

 





 

4) Politics/Politicians: YES YES YES!!!!!!  I will be talking about our country's current political situation and the cesspool of douchebags that we have chosen to run our country.

Now, just to avoid future questions, I don't side with Democrat, Republican, Tea Baggers, Corporaters, Lobbyists, AssHats, or the people that have no idea what they are talking about. 

Again, I don't want to get into full details and will save that for future posts.

5) Sweet and Low:  Oh Yeah, I'm going there.  The one thing that pisses me off is the current "protection" of Sweet and Low Packets.  Why is it, everytime I walk into a restaurant, they have all the sugars sitting out, but I have to ASK for Sweet and Low?  WHY?  Why the fuck are you protecting that alternative sugary goodness.  And another thing......why is it when I ask for packets of Sweet and Low, the waiter/waitress will only bring out 2?!  Thanks Vaj Waffle, these two packets will really last me during my entire meal.

Ok.......I got that out of my system, however, I plan on discussing this a whole lot more.....with graphs and shit.   Yes........oh yes...


Well, I hope you have enjoyed my initial/first blog.  If not, I don't give a shit.  I'm not for everybody, my views/thoughts/quips aren't for everybody.  However, if you get a small giggle or have your mind opened a little bit, than that makes me happy.

If you don't like this, I don't give a shit



Through this blog, I hope to improve myself as a writer (yes, I have dreams to become a writer), piss people off, give you a piece of my mind, and hopefully help readers along the way.